A beautiful life!
Now let's talk about the lessons from The
7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.
This is MOBAZILLA!
There is the so-called maturity continuum.
It is the development of a person from being
dependent, independent, and interdependent.
Dependence is the period from the day we were
born and we depend on our parents
to take care of us.
In the meantime, independence is when
we can already decide for ourselves.
Interdependence is when we are to
collaborate with others to achieve a
thing which we could not get by ourselves.
The first three habits focus on self-mastery
and movement from dependence
Habits 4, 5, 6 in turn
The final habit, the seventh,
is about continual imporovement.
Let's discuss these habits.
First, BE PROACTIVE.
There are two types of problems
that we face in life.
First are the problems where you can do something
to reduce or solve it.
This is your Circle of Influence.
This includes your way of spending, exercise
habits, choosing friends,
time management, or clothing.
The second are problems that you lack
control. This is the Circle of Concern.
Located inside the Circle of Concern are
problems that we have no control over, such as
gas prices, other people's opinions,
raining, natural disasters, wars, weapons,
and terrorist threats, or lovelife of celebrities.
Being proactive means
taking responsibilities in our lives.
Proactive people focus on issues
within their Circle of Influence.
They use their time and energy
to further increase their Circle of Influence.
For example, during lockdown,
you can use the time
to develop new skills.
Because you can do nothing about the
concerns outside your Circle
of Influence, don't worry about them anymore.
Let us not complain about issues that we could not
control so our time and energy would not be wasted.
SECOND HABIT, BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND.
It means to think about
how you want to complete something
before you begin.
Simple example is every time you look for a
recipe before you cook, every time you look at Google
maps before you take a road trip, and every time you look at the back or
behind the box of jigsaw puzzles before building it.
It should be clear in your mind now of the
big picture of what you want
to happen in your life. Do you want to be a
doctor? CPA? Nurse? Engineer? Architect?
Let's assume, what would others say and think
about you when you have accomplished
your journey in the world and they would attend your wake?
What person do you want them to see in you?
What achievements and contributions
do you want them to remember?
The things that you want them to remember about
you are your core values so from now on,
you need to focus and work hard
on those values.
You need to develop a personal mission statement
It becomes your basis in making
decisions every day.
It's a great way for you to get to know
yourself better and where you are going.
It should now be clear
in your mind a big picture
what you want to happen in your life.
Think of what you want to do in the future
and decide which direction you will take in your
life to ensure that every step is taken
in the good and the right direction.
THIRD HABIT, PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST.
In Habit 2, we discuss the importance of
defining values and understanding
on what we set out to achieve.
Habit 3 is about adherence
to these goals and the practice of
doing daily activities related to your priorities.
First things first - easy to hear,
it's hard to stand up.
For example, many students today
prioritize playing and checking their
social media accounts instead of studying
for their quizzes tomorrow.
Imagine you have a pile of sand,
a pile of rocks, and a box
where you should put
the same heaps
If you put sand first before the
rocks, it's possible that all would
not fit in the box.
However, if the rocks are loaded first
before the sand, they all would fit in the box.
The spaces between the big rocks would be filled
by the sand.
Your life is like a box.
You need to prioritize
what you need to do first.
We can say that the sand represents
the non-essentials while the
large rocks are the most important
events in your life.
The tasks can be classified into two:
1) urgent and 2) important.
Let's look at the time management matrix:
There are four quadrants that draw our attention.
In quadrant 1 is important and urgent.
In quadrant 2, the important but not the urgent.
In quadrant 3 is not important but urgent.
In quadrant 4 is not important and not urgent.
An activity is important if it is
contributing to your medium and long term goals.
Another activity is urgent
when it requires immediate attention.
When habits 1 and 2 are developed, more
attention will be give to quadrant 2.
Some examples of quadrant 2 activities
include the building of relationships,
long term planning, exercise,
personal growth, recreation, and preventive activities.
To focus on quadrant 2,
your priorities need to be clear to you.
Second, you must learn to reject
activities that have no value at all
in the fulfillment of your goals.
With so many distractions so far,
our attention is drawn to quadrants 3 and 4.
An example of quadrant 4 activity
is watching shows that don't have any
added value for your goals.
An example of quadrant 3 is attendance
to seminars that are not related
to the competences you want to develop.
In giving time to doing these activities,
your time in doing activities
under quadrant 2 is reduced.
Soon, the former activity which is not urgent
would become urgent.
For example, because you didn't complete
a report on time, you need to spend sleepless nights for
three days just to finish it
because your boss is looking for it.
Avoid activities in quadrants 3 and 4.
Included in the management of activities
under quadrant 1 is granting
enough attention for activities
under quadrant 2.
FOURTH HABIT, THINK WIN / WIN.
There are six models of human interaction.
This is the:
(1) Win / Win - Both person win.
Agreements or solutions are mutually
helpful and enjoyable to both parties.
(2) Win / Lose - "If I win, you lose."
People in Win / Lose situations are often tempted in
using positions, power, credentials,
and personality to get what they want.
(3) Lose / Win - “I'll win, you win.
"People here respond to requests easily
and search for strength
from acceptance and popularity.
(4) Lose / Lose - Both lose.
When two Win / Lose persons are
together - that is, when two are determined,
become connected - the result will be Lose / Lose.
(5) Win - People with Win mentality
does not mean they want others not to
get what they want.
What matters to them is to get what they want.
And finally, number 6, No Deal.
If you can't reach an
agreement that is mutually beneficial to both
parties, no deal has taken place.
An example of win-win is when you want
the chips and your husband likes adobo (a Filipino dish)
so he exchanged his chips
for your adobo.
The best choice is to create
In Win-Lose, or Lose-Win, only one person
gets what he wants, but the results
will negatively affect the relationship
between those two people.
The Win-Win or No Deal option is important
to be used as a backup.
When No Deal is an option in our mind,
it frees us from the need of
manipulating people and pushing
to them our agenda.
In solving Win-Win, we need to consider
two factors: consideration and courage.
If we have high courage and high consideration,
there is a great potential for a
If one of the two factors is low,
while one is high, it could
result in Win-Lose or Lose-Win.
If both factors are low,
this would result in Lose-Lose.
"To go for Win-Win, you not only have
to be nice, you have to be courageous, ”
advised by Stephen Covey.
Another important note to create
Win-Win situations is the existence
of abundance mentality, or the belief that
“There's plenty out there for everyone.”
Most people have
scarcity mentality. They have a hard time
sharing recognition or credit
and they find it hard to be genuinely happy
in the success of other people.
If we are to be genuine, there is higher
level of proactivity, higher
commitment to Win-Win;
our influence is stronger.
In Win-Win, keep the focus on results, not methods;
on problems, not people.
FIFTH HABIT, SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND
THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD.
According to Dr Covey, the ability
to communicate effectively is
the most important life skill.
This can only be done by listening to and understanding
what other people want to convey to us.
It's very easy to give an opinion on anything.
It's very easy to judge or criticize.
But the basis of our opinion just comes from
from our perspective and the data we have.
The usual thing which happens is something
is equally visible to two people.
Because of the differences in their perspective,
different stand or positions could be reached
If we avoid giving our take or position
regarding an issue until we do not understand
the whole story and the reason for the decision
or the perspective of those whom we talk to,
our relationships will improve
with the people around us.
Saying something that we will
eventually regret in the future will likewise be avoided.
As such, it will protect our credibility.
Understanding what people are talking about first
also shows that we possess high level of
emotional intelligence or the ability to understand
and give appropriate reaction.
Possession of this habit will increase
your influence on many people.
They would prefer talking to you.
Your words will also be more valuable.
These are especially important in the field
of leadership, sales and business.
SIXTH HABIT, SYNERGIZE!
The meaning of synergy is two or more
things that work together to create
or greater than the sum of their
Different people will bring different
opinions, ideas, perspectives, strengths, and more.
Instead of just tolerating and accepting
the differences, why don't we celebrate them?
For example, if you plant two
plants together, their roots
will mix, blend, and improve
the quality of the soil, so that both plants
would grow better than they would have grown
It's just like the concept of a broom.
You can't clean well
if you only use a piece of the broom.
You should tie/knot the pieces
to be progressive in cleaning.
This is no different with the
Filipino concept of "bayanihan" or helping each other.
By Synergy, 1 + 1 is
not only 2, it can be 3, 10, 50, 100!
So how do we introduce synergy
in a given situation or environment?
Start with habits 4 and 5.
You have to think Win-Win
and seek first to understand.
When you have them in mind, you are not in the
opposite side of the problem - you are in the same
side, looking at the problem, understanding
the needs, and working
to create a third alternative
that can address problems.
Again, habits 4-6 emphasize relationships.
This will help you achieve
the interdependent relationship with other people.
AND THE SEVENTH HABIT IN THE BOOK,
SHARPEN THE SAW.
This habit is for the care and improvement of
the capacity of our most valuable asset,
Continuous improvement should be covered
in four areas of our lives.
These include physical, social / emotional,
mental, and spiritual dimensions.
Some examples for the improvement
of our physical dimension consist of eating well,
adequate rest, and regular exercise.
Included in the spiritual dimension: the practice
of meditation, interaction with nature
or listening to good music.
These help with our mental improvement -
reading notable books,
watching MOBAZILLA, and having a journal
of your thoughts, experiences, and insights.
Just watch for those that enrich our life and the mind.
Making contributions to projects that
improve the lives of others helps
develop social or emotional dimensions.
These activities should be the content
of your quadrant 2 as discussed in
our time management matrix.
The balanced development of
the four aspects of your life allows
you to continue doing the first six habits.
You will increase your ability to cope with
the challenges that will come into your life.
Ignoring this habit will result
to weakness of your body,
becoming insensitive to others,
or existence of insecurities.
By now, you already know the 7 habits
of highly effective people.
These include the following.
NUMBER 1. Be Proactive.
2. Begin with the End in Mind
3. Put First Things First
4. Think Win-Win
5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
And, 7. Sharpen the Saw
This is MOBAZILLA!